Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
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Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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