First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
