I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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