I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
