Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
