if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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