So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
