either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
