Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
please come you make the beer taste better
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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