my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
