So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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