is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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