just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
