Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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