She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
