First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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