She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
