Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
