I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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