their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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