Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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