Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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