Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
