Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
