Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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