It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize