glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
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