I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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