I'm drive I can fine osifer
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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