My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize