just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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