trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
