Your tits are I can't wait for
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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