stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He has the fingertips of a God
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
