Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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