She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
