So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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