ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I puked a lego.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize