Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
