He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
