maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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