Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
