is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
