Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
