yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
