Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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