she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize