Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
