Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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