Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
