Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
