I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
