She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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