We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
