Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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