we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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